Voluntary Ejaculation

Almost all men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned behaviour and sexual beliefs, or because they have not found out the simple techniques that can help them last.

A few fortunate, and potentialy quite popular men, have learned to make ejaculation voluntary. This means they can last a long time and come when they want to. Most men however ejaculate involuntarily - perhaps prematurely, that's, before they or their partner are ready for it.

Coming too fast may be due to a physical medical condition, but this isn't common. But most men ejaculate prematurely because of the learned behaviour and sexual beliefs, or because they haven’t discovered the simple methods that can help them last longer.

Appropriate to make ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do 2 things. 1st he must learn to keep his whole body relaxed no matter of how sexually aroused he becomes. 2nd he must learn to move the sexual charge that builds up during making lsex away from his genitals and circulate that energy throughout his entire body.

Relaxation

Men usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.

Massage

Few things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual charge does not get stuck in your genitals.

Breathe Slowly And Deeply

As you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.

Stop And Become Still Or Slow Down

Before you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking. Start and stop exercise for premature ejaculation

Avoid Stimulating The Frenulum

The frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just under the glans head on the bottom side of your penis. This spot is really easy excitable and can bring the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid unvoluntary ejaculation.

Three Finger Perineum Press

When you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where the vibrations are strongest - usually at about the midpoint on the perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do this yourself or your partner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

Squeezing The Glans

The glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis shaft. When ejaculation is close you or your partner can squeeze the glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base where the penis comes up from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off the neurologic ejaculatory reaction from your brain to your prostate and will stop the ejaculation. This method is easiest to use when your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split second timing. Don't do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be rather painful!

Moving your sexual energy

Learning to circulate hot sexual energy is not really difficult, but it takes discipline and practice. Within a few days of trying some of the techniques mentioned below you’ll likely notice an improvement in your ability to delay ejaculation. Real sexual energy mastery, however, may take several months or even years. But unlike childhood piano lessons this is practice you’ll look forward to!

Make Sound

As you get more and more excited make lots of sounds. You can moan, groan, yell, scream, chant, sing, growl and make animal noises. The louder and stronger the sounds you make the more that sound will carry your sexual energy with it, up and away from your genitals. A wonderful technique is to harmonize your chanting sounds with your lover. When you do this at the peak of sexual arousal the sounds you make together can be exquisitely beautiful.

The PC Pump

PC stands for pubococcygeus muscle. Really the PC muscle is a group of muscles that together make up the pelvic diaphragm which stretches from your pubic bone around to your tailbone. It includes muscles used in urination and bowel movements, muscles around your anus, testicles, penis, and perineum. Pumping the PC muscle is among the simplest, easiest and fastest ways to learn to move energy and delay ejaculation. Pumping the PC muscle means squeezing or contracting the muscle and then leaving it to relax repeatedly. Alternately you are able to squeeze and then push out. You can do rapid pumps or long slow ones.

When you squeeze the PC muscle you pump the hot sexual energy up from your genitals and into the upper part of your body. This prevents the sexual energy from making up involuntary ejaculation. If you can stay relaxed and move energy away from your prostate as fast as it builds up, you can prolong the ejaculation for as long as you want. This is how Tantric lovers are able to extend active lovemaking for six or eight hours or even more. By the way, strengthening your PC muscle usually results in longer and stronger ejaculations when you do have them.

Add PC pumping to your fitness routine. Make up to several hundred squeezes per day over a two week period and eventually (if you're really keen) increase to 1000 or more per day. This might sound like a lot but you are able to do 100 PC squeezes in a couple of minutes. You do not even need to find new time to do PC pumps — try them when you are standing in line, driving your car, hoisting a few at the bar. PC Muscle Exercises to prevent premature ejaculation

The Big Draw

You can alternate relaxing your body with a conscious full-body contraction - the Big Draw. Breathe very deeply and rapidly for about a minute when you are almost ready to come. Then hold your breath and clench every muscle in your body. Tighten you fists. Curl your toes. Grit your teeth. Tighten your buttocks, abdomen, arms, legs, chest, etc. If you are lying on your back (recommended for doing the Big Draw), push off from the surface with your buttocks and neck, while arching your back. This forces the hot sexual energy up and often leads to an explosive orgasm without any ejaculation. You may also experience altered states of consciousness with this very powerful technique.

Hand Movements

Moving your hands up your body, or having your partner move her hands up your body from your genitals to the top of your head, either on the front or back of your body, is an amazingly simple but effective way to move energy. You and your partner can do this repeatedly throughout the length of your lovemaking.

Learning through masturbation

Masturbation is an superior way to become skilled at lasting a long time. Select a private, comfortable, secure place for your practice where you'll not be interrupted. A howling variation is to have your partner watch you masturbate. By this way you will be able to teach her exactly how you like to be touched and stimulated. But 1st try it a couple of times alone before you put on a show for your lover.

Build your arousal to approximately 75% of the way to the point of no return. As you get better at it, you'll be able to go closer to 90% or more. The point of no return is that point at which ejaculation will become involuntary, when you are expected to ejaculate within seconds, most certainly within minutes. Stop what you're doing. Practice some of the techniques above for relaxation and energy movement and allow your excitement to subside. Your erection should also settle before you start again. This allows the old blood to move out of the penis taking with it waste products. When you begin to re-build your arousal, fresh blood will engorge the penis giving you a new erection. This fresh blood carries with it a new supply of oxygen and hormones bringing strength, vitality and virility. A lot of men ejaculate just because they don't allow their erection to decrease every 30-45 minutes — the penis becomes exhausted and involuntary ejaculation follows quickly.

Repeat this masturbation procedure of building to approximately 75% of your point of no return, then stop, rest, and build again, for any number of times. As you do this pay very detailed attention to what is happening in your body. Notice how your body feels as you get closer and closer to orgasm. Notice that your body gives you signals about how close to ejaculation you are: heat and hardness of your erection, rapid breathing, muscular tension, etc.. In particular look for sensations in your genital area at the prostate. As your sexual energy builds in the prostate it's like a pressure cooker. Once the pressure gets too high, smooth muscles go into involuntary spasm, forcing the ejaculation. If you pay attention you'll surely feel something in the prostate as you are near this point of involuntary ejaculation. As soon as you feel this sensation, rather than going on to complete the ejaculation, you're to stop stimulating yourself and rest. Note how your body feels as you relax and let the energy (and erection) subside. Once you become good at recognising this feeling in your prostate during self-pleasuring, you will be able to be alert to this feeling during making love, including active intercourse with a partner.

Other techniques for controling ejaculation

Communicate With Your Lover

You must communicate your state of arousal to your lover. If your arousal is cresting too rapidly ask her to change what she is doing, to stop what she is doing or to slow down. Give her very specific feedback on what you want and what you can stand. Be sure to do this in a loving, respectful and playful way! Some women believe that men aren’t happy with the lovemaking until they come. Let her know that you’re having a great time and want to keep on sharing your pleasure together.

Positions

Change intercourse positions frequently. Experiment with various positions to find out if you can more easily delay ejaculation in some of them. There are an infinite variety of positions in the following categories: face to face, front to back, lying down, standing up, sitting, rear entry, and sideways. Some men report that it is easier for them to last longer during intercourse if the woman is on top. Also, face to face positions tend to be calmer, making it easier for the man to delay ejaculation, while rear entry positions tend to increase arousal very rapidly. Lateral coital position to prevent premature ejaculation

Examine Your Beliefs And Assumptions About Sex And Women

Generally the more you like, respect and admire women the easier it will be to learn voluntary ejaculation. On the other hand, the more you dislike women the more difficult it will be. The simple reason for this is that you will be in a hurry when you have sex if you dislike women. Sex will tend to be a maintenance chore necessary for tension release.

With a subtle shift in the way you think, perhaps you can begin to make love instead of just having sex. Open yourself to giving and receiving pleasure rather than trying to perform. Open your heart. Allow yourself to love your partner and be loved by her. Allow yourself to feel emotions as well as physical pleasure. Quick ejaculation is one of the ways men use to deny themselves pleasure and to avoid intimacy. Extended, ecstatic lovemaking requires surrendering and being vulnerable to your partner. Many men find that when they can let go of the need to keep everything under control, including lovemaking, their ejaculation response becomes much more manageable. It is ironic that less repressive control of feelings means more “control” or mastery of ejaculation response.

Sore prostate

If after practicing techniques for delaying ejaculation you experience a sore prostate or “blue balls”, this only means that the sexual energy is building up in your genitals faster than you can move it out. This is not dangerous, simply uncomfortable. You can relieve this discomfort immediately by ejaculating, which releases all the pressure. If the discomfort does not go away, this may mean you have a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, and you should see your doctor.

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host Tantra Sacred Loving weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations around the planet. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website www.tantra-sex.com or send email to 4freedoms@tantraloving.com.