The number 1 Tip For Great Sex

Nope, it’s not some new wild and kinky position or technique, it is only some good old fashioned simple communication! Unfortunately a lot of couples find it very hard to communicate with each other about their sexual demands or preferences and this can result in a lot of dissatisfaction and dysfunction in the relationship.

Lack of communication is a prevailing culprit guiding to infidelity too. Partners occasionally turn to additional relationships to meet needs that are not becoming met in their current relationship, instead of realising that if only they concentrate on communicating these demands to their current partner that they also could learn to satisfy them.

There would be no motivation or desire for either partner to be unfaithful if each partner would just be honest and open with one another, communicating their needs, desires and preferences. Your wife (partner) could be the best lover you need if you teach her how to satisfy you, telling her what you like and want. Your husband (partner) can be the best lover you need him to be if you do the same. If your needs are met in your relationship, there's no more need or desire for unfaithfulness.

Communication with your lover is probably “the” most important factor for not only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship in general. If you do not communicate with your lover you can’t be satisfied. Many people falsely believe that their lover can read their mind or that they should instinctively know how to please them. This is a very destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the relationship as a whole.

Each one of us is different with unique sexual needs and desires. If you’re in a new relationship it takes time to learn what each other like. Your new lover probably has different needs in regard to what they like and how they need to be touched than your previous lover. If it is a long-term relationship you need to continually explore and discover one another’s bodies, needs and desires. Needs may change over time. It’s necessary to let your lover know what you need and it’s equally important to be interested in what your partner needs.

For a relationship to be successful each partner is responsible to communicate their needs to the other and to meeting the needs of the other. If you have a partner who is not willing to learn and not interested in satisfying you, then you would want to evaluate whether this is a relationship you should be in. Getting your sexual needs met is just as important as any other need in the relationship.

Talk openly, directly and honestly. Be specific and detailed. Tell your partner where, when and how to touch you. Show them how much pressure, how much speed and time you need. Let them know what words you need to hear and when and how to say them. Talk about what scenarios, techniques and positions work best for you. Share your fantasies and dreams. Let them know when something Is not working and let them know when it's working.

There should also be a healthy balance of give and take in each partner and sexual requests should be within reason. No one should have to engage in some activity that is disgracing, violent or disrespectful.

If this is a new behaviour for you, it may and probably will feel uncomfortable at the beginning, but do it in any case! It will become easier with time. Sharing yourself in this way will increase intimacy, enhance your sexual satisfaction and decrease the risk of unfaithfulness. Your relationship as a whole will be happier, more fulfilling and satisfying in all ways.

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex/relationship counselor/educator and author helping monogamous couples improve sexual satisfaction, increase intimacy, be better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, “Smoldering Embers - Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple’s Fire". Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering Embers, and get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets guaranteed to keep your fire burning. Visit www.smolderingembers.com or send email to smolderingembers-subscribe@topica.com.