9 Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

Make sex a Priority
Our sex is as great part of health and well-being as eating and physical exercise. Make time for your sex.

Celebrate Your Sexuality
The leading reason people come to see a sexologist is because they feel shameful or guilty. Sex is energy. Let go of shameful and guilty ideas or behaviors that keep you from expressing yourself.

Keep a Sex diary
Describe your sexual outlets and patterns. Mark who or what got you sexually excited. How many times did you think about sex? How many times did you masturbate that day. How did you masturbate? How long did you masturbate? What sensations did you notice in your body and your mind during, before and after the act? What do you would like to try?

Masturbation
Almost all people who masturbate also rate a greater sexual satisfaction. It's not only safe and fun, but it also tolerates for self-exploration. If you know what you like/dislike, you are able to communicate better to somebody else.

Be a Dreamer
Most of our sexuality is in our mind. We can be, do and have whoever we want in our dreams. A lot of the most outrageous experiences started with a dream. Some people use fantasies as a safe base to practice and experiment for the “real thing”, while other people are happy keeping it as a fantasy and nothing more. Either way, it's a very healthy practice.

Take a Sexual Inventory
Take out a piece of paper, date it and list all the sexual acts and adventures you've done or learned about. Then, write “yes, no, or maybe” next to all of them. Most people have not given thought to their sexual boundaries and chances. It is also important in opening the doors for communication and finding sexual compatibility with another person.

Ask for What You Want
We should be able to ask for what we want sexually with the same comfort we ask someone to pass the salt. Asking your partner for what we need helps us get our needs met AND get consent. Don’t get discouraged. It is a lifelong practice.

Engage in Pleasure Daily
The more we seek pleasure, the more we're capable to know, appreciate, and ultimately realize that life IS pleasure. Sex is pleasure.

Dr. Sonia Borg's background is in the art and skill of communication. She has coached over a thousand people to increase self-awareness, overcome their fears, and be better communicators. Her interest in studying sex began when she noticed how difficult it was to talk openly and honestly about sex. This lead to her studies at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. Her research studying erotic dancers taught her about female empowerment, self-expression, and fantasy as being important to our sexual selves. She is a contributing author and editor to the book “Erotic Moves.” She earned her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is now a sex coach in San Diego. soniaborg@yahoo.com, www.soniaborg.com, www.sophiastreasures.com.